Get up

You will be told for your entire life that it's doesn't matter whether you get knocked down; it matters that you get back up. The problem is that no one ever says that it's alright to stay down for awhile to heal. No one will tell you that it's okay to stop for a little while and catch your breath and heal. No one tells you to lift your head up slowly to become reoriented and see if you just might want to take some time to figure out your next move. They just tell you to get back up, and cruel parts of our world will take advantage of you in those moments, and that can be absolutely devastating. That can crush a person's soul. 

 I'm telling you that it's perfectly fine to take a breath and get your bearings straight before you get back up. I'm telling you to take a moment so that you can think before you try do do something just to do something because that can destroy a person. 

It just might save you in the long run. 

Depression

In the moments when my mental state hits the floor and it takes everything I have to keep it together is when I crack a little bit. Unfortunately, you guys are often the target of my frustration. It is in these moments that I feel useless. In these moments I feel as though you all would be better without me. It is in these moments when suicide become a real option that I must convince myself is unnecessary. I am not proud of this, but it is true that I am not as mentally strong as I wish I could be. It is true that I often feel like I am worthless. I feel like a burden that deserves to be lifted from your shoulders. Like a weight that you no longer should be required to carry. 

Remember

It's strange when I consider the things I remember from my childhood. A movie. A song. An afternoon. A tree I climbed. A game. The sounds on a radio. The smell of fresh paint.