Depression

A couple years ago I almost lost a horrendous battle with depression. For a long time I figured those deep blues came from my mom's death, but now that I have had time to look back with a clearer mind, it seems that the real catalyst was coming to grips with my son's lifelong journey as an autistic. I'll admit, my depression stemmed from selfishness. I realized that there was a distinct reality that we would never send him off to college, he might never marry or have children, and my own stereotypical desires for fatherhood were instantly dashed away. So I mourned for myself. I wallowed in my own self pity. And through the process, I learned more about being a father than I could have ever imagined.

Thursday on Summer Vacation

Julian woke up first a little before 7 o'clock, and then he crawled in bed between us and got under the covers. It was really great because he was smiling and talking his talk. A little while later, Maya woke up and crawled into to bed, too. She laid next to me, snuggled up with her hear half on my chest. Then I had coffee, the kids ate, we ate, Kassie got up an came down stairs, I loaded the bikes into the truck, and we left to take Maya to dance class. Julian stayed with Kassie and Jewel; there are definite advantages to having the older cousins come visit. Denise and I rode around Mission Bay, came home, went to eat at the Olive Garden in the Chula Vista Mall. Julian and I didn't eat much so we came home so I can do yard work before the Marmions come over for a barbecue. What I really want to do is go to Stone Brewing in South Park to fill my growler with something good to share with Colm, but I don't know if I'll have time. For now I just need to cut the grass.
This is the minutia of summer vacation. It isn't spectacular, but it is nice either way. This is also the minutia of life and parenthood; again it is much nicer than any alternative I can think of.